


Rest easy, sweet dreams

by justanotherwanderingwonderer



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Multi, My Dumbass Son, Nightmares, Polyamory, Shiro and Lance love him so much and he's so BLIND
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherwanderingwonderer/pseuds/justanotherwanderingwonderer
Summary: ON HIATUS TILL MAY 1 2021: I have the last two chapters drafted but can't get to editing until my semester stops kicking my ass sorry~~~Rated Teen for Language. Content Warning for nightmares, referenced character death without any actual death, and discussions of depression and anxiety.Keith is plagued by nightmares and decides to suffer alone, because surely that will stop the nightmares from keeping him awake.Also he's in love with Shiro and Lance. And they're already together. Go figure.Angst with a good ending (I can't be too mean to my son)
Relationships: Keith/Lance/Shiro(endgame), Lance/Shiro(to start)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	1. Rest?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith cannot sleep for a number of reasons and is willing to confront none of them until he's provided with the perfect opportunity to do so: Planet Draxia an Earthlike planet with beaches and soothing color palettes.
> 
> Edit 01/26/2021: I have combined Chapters 1&2 and reworked the pacing. I'd recommend rereading a bit.

It was a day like any other, according to Keith. He woke up, rolled out of bed fully dressed after about ~3 hours of sleep (give or take an hour, depending on the nightmare that plagued him). He walked into the bathroom, avoiding the mirror - he really should just cover that mirror - and went about doing what he needed to do.

Keith shrugged on his jacket and walked out the door, anticipating another mindless day. Maybe he’d spar with someone, maybe he’d train alone, but either way, he wouldn’t remember it.

All he’d remember would be that he had to get up tomorrow and do it all again and it still wouldn’t matter.

His fatigue was seeping into his bones, bleeding into his muscles. He’d feel it in odd places, like a weird outward pressure in the middle of his back, or on his upper arm. He’d tried wrapping himself in blankets, leaning against walls, anything to push the feeling back inside of him, but nothing worked.

So here he was, sleeping 2-4 hours a night, and exhausted. His teammates seemed to think it was just his normal broodiness; although, he did see the way Hunk glanced at him sometimes during dinner. Normally by now Keith would’ve gone and asked Shiro for his advice, but he was busy with Lance lately. It was a good look on him, that smile. Shiro had begun to outwardly portray content, and Lance held the same, soft glow.

He was happy for them. He was. It’s rare to find something like that, out here in the void of space.

He was happy for them and so he couldn’t ruin their happiness with his problems. He could hear Shiro admonishing him in his head: “Keith, you’re not burdening me at all, you know that right?” Keith knew that's exactly what he'd say. But Shiro was wayyy too nice to tell Keith the truth; that he was a burden, and that it was annoying that he couldn’t just get his shit together.

And then there was Lance. Now that the annoying bickering between them had worn away, all that remained were jokes and laughter. He could remember so many occasions on which Lance had them all on the floor, reciting what he remembered of the Bee Movie script in an awful Yoda impression, or cracking awful one-liners and pickup lines towards all of them. Conversation just flowed with Lance; Keith couldn’t remember a time when it hadn’t.

He missed that, being able to enjoy hanging out with them, but lately he just felt tired and useless. So he withdrew to a cycle of train - sleep - repeat, and tried to forget about what he was missing out on.

And then Shiro and Lance happened. And he was happy for them. He had to be. Seeing Lance and Shiro so incredibly calm did make him happy. They fit together; Shiro was quiet and stoic, Lance was outgoing and loud and dramatic. They both protected what they loved fiercely, and what they loved was each other.

What could he possibly find wrong with that?

********************************************************************************

Keith woke up on yet another day, having gotten a blessed 4 hours of sleep during the night. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror - God, he looked awful. He splashed some water on his face and walked out to the kitchen for breakfast.

“G’mornin’ Keith,” came Lance’s cheerful greeting.

“Morning,” he returned, keeping as much grogginess out of it as possible as he poured himself a glass of water.

“Good morning team!”

Shiro walked in next, going over to Lance, kissing him on the forehead, then pouring goo onto his own plate before sitting down. It was sweet, really, the casual affection they held for each other. The chatter continued on where it left off, and Keith found himself getting lost in watching the two of them talk to each other.

Lance was talking rapidly, likely about whatever dream he’d had last night. Shiro was nodding along, laughing at the appropriate moments and smiling. They were so soft, and he loved it.

Pidge and Hunk were off in the corner, where Pidge was demoing the base mechanics of their newest video game project. It was a good thing they had their laptop still, or the team wouldn’t have had access to movies and games that Pidge had available. Hunk seemed engrossed in discussing new possibilities for it; it looked similar to Mortal Kombat, as far as Keith could tell, although all the graphics were rough and preliminary. It looked like it’d be fun.

Keith turned back to his bowl of green goo when Shiro cleared his throat, bringing his attention back to him and Lance.

“Allura and I have been talking for a while, and we believe we’ve found a safe planet willing to privately host us for a recharge week. We’ll be heading there today, so pack a few things.”

“WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” Lance exclaimed, breaking the calm morning quiet with whoops and hollers, Hunk joining in. Shiro was laughing, only wincing slightly at Lance’s loud excitement. Pidge grumbled a simple, “Thank fuck, we could really use a vacation,” before sending Keith a glance and two raised eyebrows. Keith simply shook his head a little in response, attempting to convey that he was fine, that he didn’t need this vacation as badly as Pidge thought he did.

In reality he did both dread and love the concept. Rest and relaxation sounded amazing. If only he actually knew how to do either of those things. 

Breakfast ended and lunch passed and then they were on planet Draxia, a lovely planet that was just as Earth-like as it was not Earth-like. The air composition was similar enough, the water was H2O, but the color of the plants were all these weird blue hues and the sand beneath the water gave the ocean a pinkish tone, as if it were always sunset. The locals were friendly but, like their planet, were only almost humanoid. The biggest difference, really, was the gills they had, and their lack of noses as a result.

That and they were all varying hues of green. Go figure.

The team settled into their lodgings and Keith found himself alone in his room, laying on his bed, and feeling incredibly restless.

The room itself was nice enough. It was about double the size of his room on the ship, but it was filled with things like couches and an oddly shaped vanity in the corner. The bed was huge and the perfect balance between firm and soft, which Keith appreciated. The ceiling was bare and pale green in color, contrasting rather nicely with the dark brown tones the furniture in the room had. It was a refreshing change from the steel greys of the castleship.

However, the size of the room, despite all the furniture filling the space, still felt like it would swallow him whole. The feeling crept up his arms again. It surrounded Keith in a steady pressure; almost like a hug, except that it was pushing out instead of in. It was getting to be irritating, how often the feeling decided to show its face. Yet no matter how tight Keith wrapped a blanket around himself the feeling would not go away.

So Keith lay there, unsure if he was trying to take a nap or torture himself. He wondered if Allura would let him return to the castle and train. 

********************************************************************************

An hour or so passed and a knock came to his door.

“Keith we’re heading down to the beach, change and come with!”

Lance’s voice shook him out of whatever horror scenario had kept him awake and captive, laying there on his bed alone. Something about Zarkon holding Lance in one hand and Shiro in the other, crushing them both. Keith was grateful for the escape.

“S-Sure, I’ll be out in a f-few.”

Shit, did that sound shaky? He hoped it hadn’t, but if Keith was being honest at this point he couldn’t tell anymore if the bed was shaking or if he was. But he climbed up regardless, changing into the shirt and shorts Lance had handed him when they’d left the ship.

The cabins they were in were connected to the beach by a short path through a few of the oddly blue trees. As he approached, he noted that the beach was pleasant; lovely soft pink sands littered with square-shaped shells. Keith thought to himself “This is what shells would look like in Minecraft”, and chuckled, before laying down on his towel in the sand and taking in the rest of the view.

The waves were a familiar rhythm he hadn’t heard in a long time. The sight of them crashing gently on the shore was a welcome one. Lance, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura were all playing beach volleyball closer to the water’s edge, and Shiro and Coran were chatting with each other only a few feet away from him. 

It was nice. Nice enough to sleep, really. The calm waves, slight chatter, setting sun. It was just enough noise to distract his mind away from the horror scenario from earlier..

The waves rolled in and out, crashing ever so gently, lulling him to sleep.

The splashing on the shore followed by the subtle movement away.

Before Keith knew it, his mind was elsewhere and he was entirely asleep. He found himself in the middle of a dense pink forest, which was odd since he had never really seen anything like it. He walked forward, boot catching on a tree root but not tripping him entirely.

Weird. When had Keith put his armor on? 

Keith wondered where the others were, since in his dream he’d apparently not heard from them for some time. Suddenly the trees parted to reveal a rocky landscape and a lovely mechatronic monstrosity, complete with many arms, many lasers, and the entirety of Voltron in its clutches.

He reached for his bayard at his side to attempt to do anything at all, but all his hand met was air.

_Shit._

The robot lifted Shiro with one of its arms, examining his unconscious body in its three fingered hand. Keith’s breath caught in his throat, watching as the monster examined every single one of his friends, one after another, before winding back and throwing them all full force at the ground. 

“NO!”

Keith awoke on the beach with a start, grasping around him for his knife. It took him a minute of frantic searching to remember he was actually on the beach, that they were on vacation, that there was no rocky desert or mechatron and that his friends were alive. The sun was significantly lower in the sky than before, and he wondered how long he’d really been asleep for.

He also noticed that Shiro had bolted up from where he and Coran had been conversing and rushed to him. His hand was on his back, rubbing in slow circles. Lance also seemed to be running towards them, abandoning the beach ball behind him.

“Hey, what happened?”

Shiro’s voice was soft, gentle, caring. His brow held worry. Keith hated worrying him.

“Just a standard nightmare, don’t worry too much about it, I’ll be fine.” Keith tried to steady his voice and smile the shakiness off. He didn’t feel solid but Shiro and Lance didn’t need to know that.

“Hey Keith, you alright?” Lance had kneeled down next to Shiro, reaching out as if to place his hand on Keith’s shoulder before seemingly deciding against it. He opted instead to adjust himself until he was directly in front of Keith, looking over him for injury even though he’d only been sleeping. Weird.

“Yeah, thanks Lance, I’m alright.” Okay good. He sounded more certain that time.

Lance finished looking him over for new injury before humming in approval. Shiro on the other hand didn’t stop gently soothing Keith’s back, which was both nice and torturous.

Lance continued, “Good, good, do you want to go back to the cabins with me? I’m about done with swimming for the night.”

At this Keith raised an eyebrow. "Really? I would’ve thought with how much you missed the ocean that you’d- “

“Be out here for hours? Ya know I thought so too but frankly, my right shoulder still hasn’t been the same since that blast back on Arus a year ago.”

Again, for Lance this was very weird, especially since he’d been so incredibly excited to be able to swim again. He wasn’t given an opportunity to question it before Lance was standing up;

“I’ll grab my things and we’ll go,” he explained, before jogging towards the waters edge again. Shiro offered his arm and Keith took it, lingering in his touch for just a few moments longer. He didn’t really want to let Shiro go, but knew that this new craving for Shiro’s touch was dangerous.

_“Focus Keith, Shiro and Lance are together, you can’t do this.”_

With his feelings swallowed down and his nerves settled, he walked back to the cabins where they were staying with Shiro and Lance, before they all parted their separate ways.

God, he was such a coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading! If you'd like, my tumblr is [@shiros-boyfriends-are-pretty](https://shiros-boyfriends-are-pretty.tumblr.com/) and although I don't post there much, my old stuff is still up. My twitter is[@im_trash_how_ru](https://twitter.com/im_trash_how_ru/) . Thank you again and Love u <3


	2. Awake Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's sleep troubles will not leave, and Lance and Shiro begin to really take notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for mentions of blood and death in hypothetical scenarios. No gruesome depictions, but should be noted.
> 
> Updated 01/15/20 after Beta feedback. Originally posted 01/07/20

Night found Keith restless, and alone. He was trying to sleep but found himself captivated by scenarios from which he could not escape. Some twisted part of his mind had started pondering scenarios with which he was already familiar: what if Zarkon found them all, on this planet, with their guard down? And what if when the Galra landed, they got to Lance and Shiro first? What then? His nightmare fast-forwarded to the part where he saw the red of their blood. 

Night found Keith restless, and now Keith found himself mourning, even though no one had died and nothing had happened. Shiro and Lance were asleep in their cabin. He knew that. But they also were now dead, as they lay bleeding in Keith’s mind, and that alone was enough to make him abandon sleep altogether.

Before he realized what he was doing he'd gotten entirely out of bed and out the door. His feet were leading him down the winding path to the beach. Keith figured it was as good a place as any to collect his thoughts.

It was now halfway through Draxia’s night at least, although the position of the two moons in the sky made this a tad hard to infer. The clear sky full of stars combined with the soothing waves of the ocean made for a pleasant scene, and it did soothe Keith to some extent. He was seated, leaning against a rock for support, with arms curled around his own knees, listening to the waves. From there he let his mind wander again to Shiro and Lance, and how kind they’d been earlier. Shiro’s hands were strong and warm, he remembered. And Lance’s eyes were so gentle in their concern. 

It would be more troubling to him, this double crush of his, if the thought of them both didn’t bring him such peace. There was no big anguish, no panic over why he liked both of them at once. He just looked at them and their kindness towards each other and felt awe. The only issue was that most people likely would find it odd, and he couldn’t imagine Shiro and Lance wanting a third person in their happy little bubble.

In this melancholy mood, Keith found himself nodding off to sleep. A fleeting thought of _“you should return to your bed”_ crossed his mind before he decided against moving. The walk back would only wake him again. Besides, he’d slept in worse places than this.

And that’s how Lance found him, curled up by a rock on the shore of the pink-sand beach. When Lance had discovered Keith wasn’t in his room he’d started panicking, but when he found him he just felt overwhelming sympathy and concern. Lance gently shook Keith’s shoulder with a, “Hey, sleepyhead. What are you doing out here?”

Keith grumbled and stretched before leaning back into Lance’s hand and sleeping a bit more. With that, Lance smiled and said,

“Seriously, Keith. How’d you get on the beach?”

“I walked.”

Lance laughed and rubbed Keith’s back a bit before motioning for him to get up.

“It’s time for breakfast, the villagers and Hunk have been cooking something up with local fruits.”

Keith took Lance’s hand and stood up before heading with him back down the path. He really was looking forward to eating something other than goo.

The day was peaceful as it went by. Uneventful, it seemed. It was full of Lance and Pidge and Hunk challenging each other to do odd things while the rest of them watched and laughed. Keith found that despite the lack of sunblock, none of them seemed even a little bit burnt by the sun-like star this planet depended on for its earth-like life. This was a good thing, he supposed. Late in the evening they’d started a bonfire on the beach and watched the waves while talking quietly. There was good food, and Lance was singing whatever songs he remembered, Hunk joining in with a shaky, sometimes incorrect harmony,

It was nice.

But then it became time for bed. Keith’s eyes were on the cabin ceiling again and everything was too dark and too quiet and too cold. He feared what was to come. Keith knew his mind was just deciding which scenario to plague him with. So he lay waiting, eyes transfixed on the ceiling as if it were a movie screen and the show was about to begin. And sure enough, there was Zarkon, slightly taller than last time, slightly stronger than last time, with Lance and Shiro in his capture and a knife at their throats and-

Keith inhaled sharply, wanting to close his eyes but knowing that wouldn’t stop them from dying, wouldn’t stop him from seeing the blood or the lifelessness of their bodies in his mind.

It ended, and then it began again. This time it was Sendak and his arm. Then it was a new machine intended to fight and to kill. 

It didn't matter if the enemy was a robot or a Galran or anything else he could imagine. As far as Keith's subconscious was concerned, Shiro and Lance were dead, and he was too afraid to check if they were actually alive in their cabin for fear he'd find them there, bleeding.

Keith wouldn’t be sleeping tonight.

Another day and night passed like this and then Keith found himself unaware of where he was and what he was doing entirely. He had been fatigued like this for so long that two consecutive nights without sleep was enough to undo him almost entirely. He was seeing Zarkon around corners, blood on the walls, Pidge and Hunk’s deaths plaguing him alongside Shiro’s and Lance’s. It was awful, really, and he couldn’t tell anymore if he was on Draxia or the ship. 

It must be the ship, because the ground was shaking under him. They must be preparing to take off. 

Keith took another shaky step forward, then another, before leaning against the wall and hanging on for dear life. He could hear Lance and Pidge in the distance. Thank God they were alive.

“...have you considered adding something other than punching and kicking? Maybe like a long jump combo or- oh shit Keith are you okay?”

Before he could answer he felt his grip on the wall slipping as he fell into Lance’s arms and the world faded to black.

********************************************************************************

Coming to, Keith found himself in a room that was similar to his but definitely not his cabin. Coran's room, perhaps? 

"Hey, you're awake," came a steady, deep voice. 

Ah. Shiro and Lance's room. This was a little awkward. 

"Oof, yeah I'm awake. What happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that." 

Shiro's voice held concern and worry. Why did he keep worrying him? He'd kick himself for it if he could, but that would likely just worry Shiro further. Ugh, why'd he have to be so kind and intuitive and-

"Have you been sleeping at night, Keith?" As always, Shiro was spot on. 

"Ah no, not really."

"Hmmm." Shiro became quiet, pensive. A few quiet moments passed and Keith let himself just lay there, on the bed next to Shiro.

"Why don't you just stay with us, Keith."

At this Keith's brow furrowed. This was not the conversation he expected to be having, and he was only half certain he'd even heard Shiro correctly. He must have noted Keith's confusion, because he continued.

"Well the villagers gave us two beds but we really only use the one, maybe you should sleep here for a while? Just so we know if you're doing alright or not. Coran and Allura thought it might be a good idea for you not to be alone, but we're apparently the only ones with the room for it right now." 

So Keith hadn't misheard. He'd been expecting a simple pat on the back of fatherly support before being sent off to do it all again. Yet here he was, being offered a bed in the cabin of two people he had a _small_ (read: debilitating) crush on. He really wanted to take Shiro up on the offer. A chance to make sure that he and Lance were always alive and safe, and not in the bloody clutches of the Galra leader?

God, that sounded like heaven. But if they found out about his feelings he didn't know how he could continue being a paladin of Voltron.

"Well," Keith paused a bit, careful with his words. He couldn't tell Shiro 'Hey, I have a humiliating crush on you and your boyfriend and rooming with you would kill me'. But if Coran and Allura had suggested it, the situation seemed really hard to weasel out of. So he settled with, "Would Lance really be alright with that? What if I snore?"

Shiro looked at him for one second, then another, before chuckling in disbelief and shaking his head. 

"Trust me, Lance won't mind. And I doubt you snore as loud as he does sometimes." 

"Sometimes I scream in my sleep."

"Lance has dealt with a fair share of my nightmares and I've dealt with his. No biggie!"

Well shit. Keith had forgotten how much he used to depend on Shiro for these types of things, and how good he was at handling them. He missed it honestly. The more excuses Keith came up with the more reasons he should stay with them Shiro seemed to provide.

"Sleepwalking can be an issue"

"The doors lock and there's not a lot of furniture to trip on"

"That'll be three people to a bathroom." Keith tried, one last time.

"At the Garrison it was way worse anyways."

Fuck. Keith had nothing. So he shrugged and nodded, saying "Alright then, I wouldn't mind staying a few nights." 

Doubts aside, Keith hoped the comfort of having them nearby would triumph over his fear of them finding out the truth. Not to mention the havoc this would wreak on his heart, not being able to love them like he wanted to. 

Maybe he'd just get some sleep for a few days then return to his room in the castleship and never speak of it again.

Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! My tumblr is [@shiros-boyfriends-are-pretty](https://shiros-boyfriends-are-pretty.tumblr.com/) and twitter is [@im_trash_how_ru](https://twitter.com/im_trash_how_ru/)  
> Love y'all, stay safe <3


	3. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith finally finds a way to help himself sleep. Unfortunately for him this means more gay panic.  
> Content warning again for mentions of death, slight blood warning, also nightmares and insomnia etc.
> 
> Second edit on 01/15/20 because after sleeping on it I had more to say. Originally posted 01/14/20

As per usual, although Keith hoped for the best, what actually happened was better aligned with the worst.

Having Shiro and Lance alive and breathing merely feet away from him should do wonders to calm his nerves. Hypothetically he'd have the crippling nightmare, glance over and see them alive, and be soothed instantaneously. In reality, his feelings were torturing him again, and the agony of being stuck in their room, intruding on their space like some weird romantic voyeur while they cuddled each other at night had him on the verge of a very different kind of panic. What if instead of silently glancing over and affirming they were alive, he woke up screaming their names? Or worse, somehow confessing his crush in his sleep through some mumbled 'I love you's'.

Wouldn’t they think he was weird? Obsessed? Normal people didn't have an issue with crushing on two people already in a relationship with each other. Why had he agreed to this situation in the first place?

An imaginary gun was fired and the questions in Keith’s head took off, racing each other to the finish line (which was, presumably, making Keith as restless and upset as possible). 

Shaking those thoughts aside, he attempted to focus. Sleep. That was why he was here in the first place, right? Clean, deep, restful sleep. Sound, solid, non-incriminating sleep. Sheep jumping over gates and hills and shit. 

Okay, counting sheep. Maybe he could try that. The phrase had to be infamous for a reason. 

Except that reason, according to Keith, must have been that it was famous for being useless. Every time he lost track of what sheep he was on he got progressively more frustrated. By the third count through, the sheep were fluffy bodies with Shiro and Lance's faces prancing willy nilly on a bright green hill. Keith just gave up.

Next, he tried thinking of rivers, or calm forests, or the ocean that he’d fallen asleep to a few nights prior. When that didn't work he tried to think of the winds that would beat on his desert shack and lull him to sleep back on Earth, but found he could no longer remember quite what they sounded like.

Keith sighed. It would be a long night.

Morning came too early and Keith had definitely not slept enough. The blanket was heavy across his body, pinning him to his mattress as if it weighed 100 pounds. And, to make matters worse, the aching had reappeared in his back and seemed to be creeping around him inch by inch with every passing minute.

He tried enjoying the day regardless, but as it wore on he wore down. The ache was relentless and slow. By mid-day it had spread up his back to his arms. It took everything for him to not keep his arms crossed, hands over the spots that ached.

While the rest of the gang played beach volleyball Keith felt as if he were trapped in his spot on the beach, as if moving would endanger him somehow. The ache was persistent; it had wrapped itself around his middle by evening. The weird pressure felt almost like a hug, but was odd enough to remind him that there was in fact no one holding him. He was as alone here of Draxia as he'd been in his shack. God, that thought hurt.

The bonfire was quiet that evening, as if the somber mood he'd found himself in had infected the entire planet of Draxia. The locals had not interacted with them all day, and the jokes from Pidge and Hunk and Lance were few and far between. Keith hoped that for everyone else, at least, this quiet was peaceful, but to him all it meant was that his mind was so very loud

More visions of bodies littering an imaginary ground in front of him. Zarkon, standing victorious, holding Lance by the throat with Shiro dead at his feet. The scenario flashed to the inside of a Galra ship, alarms blaring, Keith trapped in a cell watching his team get shot down one by one.

The scene flashed again. They were on an icy planet. All were dead. On a rocky terrain. Everyone; dead. No matter where Keith's mind wandered the result was always the same.

Shiro placed his hand on Keith's shoulder then motioned to help him stand up. Keith took his hand and walked alongside Lance and Shiro.

They walked back to Shiro and Lance's cabin in near silence, and Keith knew they were going to have another conversation regarding his sleeping health.

Had he mentioned to the omnipresent narrator in his mind that he hated worrying Shiro and Lance? Because he really hated worrying Shiro and Lance.

But there they sat, worried as ever on the bed they’d set aside for him. Keith expected the usual _“Are you okay?”_ or perhaps a _“Lance and I had hoped we wouldn’t make it worse.”_

Instead, however, he was met with a,

“Rough day, huh?”

Lance’s small smile at the end of his question melted Keith’s heart a little. The ache crept down his arms again, and Keith crossed them in a hopeless attempt to stop it from spreading further.

“Yeah, I guess.”

He hoped that would be the end of it because he didn’t know what else to say. Maybe he could attempt to ask them about their day? That could end the awkward quiet. He opened his mouth to do so, but as he looked up, saw the sadness in Shiro’s eyes, and faltered.

“Fuck it, c’mere.”

Lance’s interjection was followed by warmth. An ever-present warmth. He felt Lance’s arms wrapped tightly around him and began tearing up a bit.

Then, slowly, Shiro came up behind him and wrapped his arms around them both, and suddenly the tears were slipping down his face. He cursed them for escaping, but that just made him sob harder, which in turn made Shiro start petting his hair and whispering _"Hey, it's okay, I've got you, I'm here"_ on repeat.

After about two minutes, the ache that had covered his entire torso all day was again concentrated in the middle of his back, having retreated from his arms and sides. Keith almost felt lightheaded in its absence, but couldn’t focus on much other than crying in the safe arms of Lance and Shiro.

A few moments more and they separated. This time, Shiro spoke:

“I’ve talked with Allura and Coran about extending our stay here by a few days so we can actually work on what’s going on with you.”

It took everything in him to not start sobbing again. God, his team. They cared _so much._

Keith nodded slowly, and spoke a soft,

“Thank you.”

Shiro smiled and rubbed his back gently. “I think we’ve all had a day, let’s go to bed,” he suggested.

Lance and Keith nodded in agreement.

As Keith went about, changing into pajamas and brushing his teeth, he found that the peace hugging Lance and Shiro had brought him carried him into bed, and lasted with him through to morning. The dark wasn't so dark, and his dreams were absent for the night.

Keith woke up with the sun just barely filtering into the room. It was a beautiful sight, the slivers of light falling gorgeously on the faces of Lance and Shiro. Ready to get up and face the day, he slipped out from under the covers, getting dressed and heading down towards the beach to watch the sunrise.

And there it was, in all its glory. Oddly enough, although the sky on Draxia was blue and the sun was yellow, the sunrise held shades of bold green amongst the orange and pink Keith was used to. Light must refract differently on this planet! He wondered what Pidge thought of that.

Keith pondered that thought a little more and realized he hadn't spoken to Pidge in weeks, or Hunk or Coran or Allura, for that matter. They spoke to him, sure, but he'd been too tired to do anything other than grunt in affirmation.

So when he'd had enough of the colors in the sky, Keith set off to find Coran. He approached the cabin that held the kitchen and sure enough, there Coran and Allura were, chatting away inside.

As Keith stepped inside, he was met with a,

"Well, you're looking chipper, young man! Got some sleep, eh?"

He felt his mouth tug upwards into a grin instinctually. He'd missed talking to Coran.

"Yes, quite possibly the best sleep of my life."

"Ah, I see." Coran and Allura exchanged glances, but before Keith could think about it more, in came Pidge, in all their glory.

"Hey emo boy, you out of your funk?"

Keith's grin became a laugh, and he felt that his laughter sufficed to answer their question. Then the door was pushed open quickly, and in came Lance with Shiro in tow,

"Hey Coran have you seen Kei- oh thank fuck you're here."

Keith found himself in another sudden embrace. Shiro's voice cut in with a gentle, "Did you sleep well?"

Keith nodded, and in the background, Allura and Coran shared another glance. Before Keith could process that, Hunk was serving up breakfast and they were all grabbing plates of food.

The day consisted of more time on the beach, more hours in the sun. However, despite the feeling of well-restedness he had, Keith's thoughts still occasionally wandered to: _You've been captured. Lance and Shiro are dead. You're all alone. you will die_

But then it'd be interrupted by Hunk shouting "Catch!!" or Pidge shouting "Booyahhhh!!!" and he'd remember that no, he was here. He was grounded. And alive.

It was such a great day, and Keith loved sleep. If sleep were a sentient entity he'd marry it, or at the very least take it out on a date. His back felt straighter, head felt lighter, and everything was so much easier than it had been the day before, on the same beach. The sun passed over-head and the waves crested and broke on the shore. He'd never felt so calm, so alive.

And yet, as their nightly fire drew to a close, Keith found himself still dreading his bed. He didn't think his nightmares would be bad so soon, but the thoughts were crouched in the back of his mind, waiting and ready. He knew that same comfort that had carried him through the night prior would not be here now, and he didn't know what he'd have to handle in this weird limbo between haunted and normal.

It scared him, and would've been the only thing that scared him that evening, except that as he sat down on his bed Lance appeared with a decent size bottle of sludge that was somehow neither grey nor green nor blue nor purple. Honestly, Keith couldn't tell what color it was, other than being the color of this sludge.

"Mullet," Lance paused, using the bottle of sludge to point at Keith, "tonight we are going to figure out how to get you to sleep." 

Keith scowled. "Mullet? We're bringing that back?"

Lance nodded before handing Keith the bottle of goop. Keith just stared at it. His facial expression was that of sour disgust (honestly, it couldn't have been more hilariously sour if he tried). 

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with this, Lance?" he said with a mixture of disbelief and apathetic confusion.

"Drink it." Lance stated as if it was self-explanatory.

Keith just stared at him. "Well, What is it?"

"I dunno, some locals gave it to me when I inquired about sleep remedies." he replied, popping the 'p' at the end of 'sleep'.

Dear reader, you know the smile of a person who is very close to having had enough? The smile of disbelief, of _'You have got to be kidding me'_ mixed with _'If I had a weapon, I'd sure use it'_? Well, it was this particular smile that Keith smiled, holding the bottle of mysterious (potentially poisonous) sludge in his hand. He chuckled once under his breath, staring at Lance and pausing before continuing.

"So you don't know what's in it…" 

"Yup!"

"... And you want me to drink it… "

"Yes!"

"... Even though we have no clue if it'll kill me."

"I mean what's the worst that could happen?"

"Literal death, Lance." The smile had disappeared now and all that was left was bewilderment. Keith's gaze was still locked with Lance's, eyebrows raised. To be honest, this was a little too... intense, for his liking, but he wasn't going to poison himself, sleep remedy or not.

"Keeeith."

"Laaance."

"Keeeeeeeith."

"Lance." Keith's tone was stern.

"Keeeeeeeeeeeeeith."

"Lance!"

"Shiro!" came a triumphant voice from across the room. Lance and Keith just stared at him in disbelief. Shiro just shrugged.

"Listen, babe, I had to. It's hilarious."

The word 'babe' caught Keith off-guard, bottle and argument forgotten. Keith knew when Shiro said 'babe' he was likely talking to Lance, but he'd been staring directly at him when he said it and that was wei....

He didn't have a chance to finish that thought. Lance sighed, "Ugh, fine," and yanked the bottle out of Keith's hands. Before he knew what was happening, Lance had flicked the cap across the room and downed half the bottle, before handing it back to a bewildered Keith.

"There, now we'll both die. It's probably just space melatonin."

Keith's wide eyes of disbelief were again focused on Lance as he hesitantly raised the bottle to his lips and drank the remaining half without protest. The consistency was that of an Earth smoothie but the flavor was definitely not something human taste buds could process. There'd be spots that tasted like chocolate, hints of meat flavor, and then a whole lot of empty space, as if his brain was so confused it couldn't even make up a flavor. Keith didn't know what to make of it. 

He fell asleep easily enough, his mind thrown off by the whole experience. The darkness came and he fell into dreaming about cuddling a cat, a dark grey one with yellow-green eyes. The cat was warm and purring. He scratched behind its ears and felt the softness there. The purring in his arms grew stronger. Then, dream Keith stood up, holding the cat in his arms while walking into the kitchen of this dream house he didn't recognize but was familiar, somehow. Shiro was there, standing over the stove in a frilly pink apron. He turned around, saw Keith, and smiled. 

_"Wanna try some, babe?"_ dream Shiro said, holding out a ladle full of bright green goo.

Dream Keith didn't even question the pet name, or the goo, only opened his mouth. Then there was that awful, tasteless sludge again.

Oh wait, that taste wasn't in his dream. That was real. The sludge was returning and it was not happy. Keith bolted out of bed and headed straight towards the toilet. 

That was _NOT_ space melatonin. 

About half an hour after Keith had finished emptying his stomach contents, Lance came into the bathroom and did the same, barely noticing Keith's perch on the sink counter. As Lance hunched over, Keith stepped down and kneeled beside him, patting Lance's back gently as he yakked it all up.

When he was done, Lance turned to Keith and said, "Well this is lovely, innit?" in the worst British accent Keith had ever heard in his life.

"You were the one that wanted me to drink it," Keith replied.

"Yeah, yeah, God is punishing me on your behalf already, don't worry," Lance said, leaning closer.

Keith's nose wrinkled and he pushed Lance's face away from breathing in his direction.

"Jesus Christ man, your breath smells like ass!"

Lance laughed before leaning towards Keith, breathing as he went. The leaning turned to pushing, the pushing turned to tackling, and soon Lance was attempting to pin Keith down to the floor and breath in his face, Keith laughing and pushing him away. Lance succeeded, and the fight ended with Lance on top of Keith with his hands on his shoulders, holding him to the floor. 

He leaned down and blew one long breath into Keith's face, laughing at his grimace.

"Oof, dude, we have got to get you sleeping more. It should NOT be this easy to beat you." 

Keith smiled at that, dwelling in the feeling of Lance so close to him before changing the subject.

"Was it just me or did that liquid taste more flavorless coming back up than it did going down?" 

Lance started laughing again, before releasing Keith's shoulders and laying his whole body on Keith's, his head on Keith's chest. They lay there on the bathroom floor, with fading laughter and glowing smiles. It was so nice and warm that despite the cold floor Keith was sure he could fall back asleep like this.

Then he heard Shiro mumble something in the other room, and he remembered. Lance was taken. He was Shiro's boyfriend. And Shiro was Lance's boyfriend. 

This couldn't go on.

"C'mon, we should head to bed." 

A beat passed, and Lance lifted his head up, kind eyes melting Keith's heart entirely.

"Cuddle with me? In our bed?"

Keith's protest died on his lips. This was such a bad idea, his heart would not be able to take this. But with those blue eyes? With the soft hands pulling him into Shiro and Lance's bed? How could he refuse?

Lance maneuvered Keith between himself and Shiro before tucking himself into Keith's side. Keith's arm hesitantly hovered over Lance's side; there was really nowhere else to put it except on top of Lance. But Shiro was literally _right behind Keith_.

Maybe Shiro could read Keith's thoughts, because as he was deliberating Shiro draped his arm directly over Keith and Lance, still fast asleep.

Well, that settled it then, He couldn't escape if he tried. He was stuck in a hot man sandwich between the men who were quite possibly the loves of his life.

It was so calm, and so, so warm, but all Keith could think about as he fell victim to sleep was that he was so, so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of 1/26/21 I have another chapter being beta'd, so it'll be up soon. I do intend to finish this, I'm just in school rn so it's slower than at first.  
> As always you can find me on tumblr [@shiros-boyfriends-are-pretty](https://shiros-boyfriends-are-pretty.tumblr.com/) and twitter [@im_trash_how_ru](https://twitter.com/im_trash_how_ru/)
> 
> Comments and Kudos appreciated, but ultimately I love yall, thanks for reading <3


	4. The F*ckening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith can't let himself have nice things and distances himself again.  
> Predictably, this has consequences
> 
> CW for physical harm and a battle scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this took forever to write. Enjoy!

As the sun spilled into Lance and Shiro’s room and splattered on the wood-like floors, Keith found that he had never been in such a double-edged situation. On the one hand, where there had previously been that awful ache there was now a glorious sense of peace and comfort, as if all he’d really needed was the right kind of hug. However, with no agony in his limbs to distract him, the torment moved to his brain.

He was infringing on their relationship. He was just there. All the time, like this awful third wheel they couldn’t get rid of. How could he let himself feel satisfied? It was all of his dreams come true in the worst way.

This sunkissed morning was the most guilty heaven Keith had ever experienced. There Lance was, in his arms, fast asleep and gentle. Shiro’s arms were wrapped around him from behind, coming across Keith’s chest and squeezing him just enough. He wished he could enjoy it.

Would they feel betrayed if he told them? 

He felt Shiro stir slightly from behind him and wondered if he was awake. Then fingers appeared in his hair, gently playing with the strands.

“Did you sleep well?”

Keith’s breath caught in his throat. Fuck. Of course Shiro’s morning voice would be hot. 

“Y-yeah. Well enough.”

“Good.” Shiro continued slowly combing his fingers through Keith’s hair, slowly from root to end. The rhythm of it relaxed him so much that tears began to well up in his eyes, pouring out softly. Tears rolled down his face and any lingering tension in his spine seemed to be released with them. He’d truly never been more at peace in his life.

Shiro didn’t notice, as Keith was still turned towards Lance. Eventually his hand stilled, then drew back. Keith’s tears had stopped by them.

He felt Lance stir in his arms, then looked down to see blue eyes opening narrowly.

“...time isit?”

Ah. And Lance was cute in the mornings. Of course. If Keith’s heart wasn’t full before, it definitely was now.

Shiro replied from behind him; “7th varga, about.”

Wow, Keith couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept that late.

They slowly moved out of bed and about their day, and all Keith could think about was the way Shiro’s arms had felt, pulling him in just close enough. And Lance, in his arms, peacefully dreaming away. The scene was so perfect. And yet…

And yet he couldn’t shake the small feeling in the back of his mind that he’d done something wrong. You’re taking advantage of them, it whispered. They don’t know why they help you so much.

It was really the only thing that bothered him. The nightmares had left him alone these last few nights, sure, but the guilt had replaced it. It was as if all Keith’s mind needed was an evil with which to plague; it didn’t care what tool it had to use, only that it had to torment.

They were walking quietly through some woods on a trail near their cabins and Keith found his brain wandering. His feet carried him through the trail, but in his mind he was walking back the now familiar path to the cabin. His feet walked up the steps in his mind and tried to open the door, but it was locked.

In his head, Keith knocked but no one answered. He knocked again and only silence followed. He waited for a moment before the door opened and he was faced with a seriously angry Lance. 

_‘You lied to us,’_ the man in his mind said. _‘You’ve been using your sleep issues to get close to us. How could you think I’d ever see you as more than a teammate??? Date me AND Shiro?? Are you delusional????’_

It stung. Keith kept walking. The daydream continued. Lance’s voice slung accusation after accusation. _‘How could you do this to us? You’re a pervert for wanting us both! We wanted to help you but this??? This is sick!’_

Soon enough, Shiro appeared behind him, holding a bag with Keith’s things. He tossed the bag at Keith’s chest, which he caught, before Shiro said a final _‘You’re really messed up, Keith.’_

And the imaginary door was shut. Keith became aware again that his reality was actually in the middle of the blue-hued forest, and not abandoned alone on the steps of Shiro and Lance’s cabin. But the tears were in his eyes again, this time because he was distressed. They’d hate him if they found out about everything. 

Keith resolved that he’d sleep in his own bed that night. Either way, the previous night seemed like a one-time thing; a side-effect of the wrestling on the bathroom floor.

He tried to enjoy the rest of the walk but the day-mare had left him feeling as if the air had left his lungs, which in turn made walking a little difficult. Somehow he made it back with the rest of Team Voltron to their set of guest cabins on the beach.

The sunset painted their nightly campfire scene in a lovely golden light and yet all Keith could think about was what would happen when they retired for bed. Would Lance try to drag him in again? Or would he let him sleep alone. Would they talk about it? God, Keith hated talking about it.

Maybe he could just sleep in his own-

**_BONK._ **

Keith had been hit in the head with a beach ball. If he hadn’t spent the entire day worrying himself to death, Keith would have maybe found this funny. Instead, Keith found himself stunned speechless. 

He tossed the ball back without too much of a fuss and continued sitting there, staring into the bonfire. He just wanted this day to be over already.

However, when he got back to the cabin he found that Lance did again try to drag him to their bed. When Keith refused he was met with gentle protests.

“Keith, think logically here,” came Lance’s counterargument. “You slept well last night. The cuddling helps. We should keep doing it.”

Lance had a point, he just didn’t know the reasoning why Keith had slept so much better the previous night. Keith wracked his brain for any excuse at all that could deter Lance.

“What if it doesn’t work this time?” 

“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, we won’t know unless we try again.”

Lance was right, and Keith hated it, because it meant he couldn’t rationalize away wanting to sleep in the same bed as Shiro and Lance without confessing why he wanted to avoid it. So there he was again, trapped between the bread of a hot man sandwich. Ugh, why did his mind have such weird metaphors for this situation? As if the panic he felt wasn’t already bad enough.

He tried to fall asleep. His brain dug around for whatever Galran horror it could think of to hold Lance and Shiro captive, but it was no use. Keith knew that they were both safe, two warm, very much alive bodies. 

When it gave up on finding a horror scenario familiar to Keith, the depths of his brains produced a new thought.

_What if they’re dead when you wake up? What if something made you go mad and you killed them?_

Keith shuddered at the thought. Suddenly he was very awake, and very aware of every part where Shiro and Lance touched him. He imagined what those arms would feel like if they were dead and cold in the morning. 

Keith squeezed his eyes shut tight. He would not let the intrusive thoughts win this time. Think of rainbows. Puppies. Anything else, Keith thought to himself.

And with that, he fell asleep.

********************************************************************************

Two more days passed like that before they finally left Draxia and Keith finally had an excuse to sleep alone in his own bed. That first night back on the castleship went smoothly, Keith feeling relieved to be away from the situation that caused him such torment.

The second night was still relieved, but a little less calm. The image of waking up in the cabin between a suddenly dead Shiro and Lance crossed his mind enough times to make him unsettled, but it wasn’t more than he could handle.

Or at least that’s what Keith kept telling himself. In reality with each night that he slept alone the nightmares gained more battleground. Before he knew it a week had passed and Keith had maybe slept four out of the seven nights he’d spent alone. But the sleep deprivation meant he’d caught up on training again, so there was that at least.

Keith stared into his bowl of goo and became aware that the alarms were blaring in the distance.

Ah right. Battle time.

Keith tried to hurry to the hangar but felt as if his limbs were moving through thick, viscous glue. He tugged the base layer of his armor on, feeling the resistance of it dragging against his skin. Why couldn’t he move any faster, damn it! He strapped on piece after piece, alarms blaring. He put his chest plate on too soon, and then had to take it off to slide other things on.

Keith was about to just give up when Hunk appeared in front of him, brows furrowed and eyes concerned. He helped him get all the pieces of his armor on quicker than Keith had been able to alone; the remaining thigh pieces snapped on without pinching the skin underneath, shoulder pieces in place, the chest plate strapped in perfectly.

He took in air shakily and released it all out, before moving with Hunk quickly to the hangar. 

He’d wasted enough time.

Red whisked him away the instant he entered, and soon enough he’d caught up to Shiro and the others. He barely processed being told which ships had prisoners and which could be freely shot down if needed, but that was all he needed to know.

Keith went after his targets, aiming at every ship that attempted to attack his teammates. He’d bash one out of the way with Red’s tail, then shoot down a plasma cannon with her tail, then bash in a Galra fighter with her head. At first he and Red were doing fine enough avoiding the fire, dodging the hits as they came. The rhythm of the fight would’ve been exhilarating if the quick movements of Red weren’t making him woozier by the dobosh. And the woozier he got, the slower he got. 

All it took was one small Galra fighter landing a hit on Red for Keith to be thrown completely off his rhythm. The ease with which he’d previously attacked became the same ease with which he got hit. At first, it was just one hit, but then another shook Red enough for Keith to hit his helmet against his chair.

“ _Tssszszsscc-_ Ke _\- ssh-_ Keith, _-tcsczsz-_ what’s go _-zssh-_ ing on?” Shiro’s voice crackled through the comms, but all Keith could focus on was the sharp pain on the left side of his skull.

Fuck, that hurt.

He received another hit from his left, tossing his head to the right side of his chair. Keith’s helmet seemed to be doing very little at this point. Red tried to retreat a little, but the Galra fighters followed, landing shot after shot on the mechatronic lion. Keith was being rattled around in his chair, and had hit his head enough times to certainly cause some severe damage. There was a constant, sharp headache now, and with every motion it seemed to get worse. His vision was getting a bit spotty.

“ _Tsshszz -_ Yo, Keith, what’s happening _-zzzzzz-_ over there???"

If Keith didn’t know any better he’d say Lance sounded panicked. Had he said yet this chapter he hated worrying people he loved.

“HeeeyL- L-Lance,” drawled Keith, barely hanging on.

“ _-zssh-_ Shit, Keith stay with me.”

“Keith, _-shhzz-_ talk to me,” Shiro chimed in.

Keith blinked slowly, looking at the stars above them all. The window of his cockpit was lit up with blast after blast.

Things began to slow down but he wasn’t quite sure why. All he could think about was how pretty it all suddenly was, debris flying and stars sparkling above. 

He wanted to tell Shiro that he was okay, and let Lance know that he was fully conscious, but there was some disconnect between his brain and his mouth because all that left was “ _Preeeeeeettyyyyyyy._ ”

This seemed to cause more panic than reassurance. 

“Keith, I need you to talk to me.” Shiro sounded more stern this time, and he felt bad, because he really did want to talk about anything at all. Keith wanted to talk about the way the sky looked, and how much he loved the color red. He wanted to talk about the way battle normally made him feel more alive than anything but that lately it’d been replaced by the fire that Shiro and Lance brought to him. He wanted to talk about how seeing them smile made him feel okay, and that those few nights on Draxia were terrifying and beautiful.

But as Keith stared blankly out the cockpit window, vaguely aware of himself being shaken from left to right, all he could manage to actually say was,

“I love you guys.”

Before his vision faded completely.

“Keith, _shit._ Keith. Keith listen to me.”

“I swear to fucking God Keith if you die on us now.”

“Keith!! KEEEEIIITH!!!”

Keith had hoped that he wouldn’t have to hear how pained they all were, but unfortunately, he was still conscious. He could tell that Red had taken his state as a cue to flee; he heard the blasts getting more and more distant but didn’t seem to be losing consciousness. The voices in his helmet were fading too, as Red retreated. 

Red. He hoped she was okay. She took such good care of him in times like this. They were so similar, in that once you earned their love they'd be “ride or die” for you. He loved that about her, it made him feel less weak for his loyalties.

He was grateful also that the cockpit was no longer throttling violently. It was easier to try and stay conscious that way. He tried to focus on his memories; his dad putting out a small stove fire one night when he was 10, the way Iverson’s room had looked when he’d angrily lit it aflame.

Then he thought again about Shiro and Lance. He couldn’t bear not to see them again. Not to hold them again.

God, he should’ve just told them how much they meant to him on Draxia. He was such a fucking coward. He wanted to hold them and kiss them and at the very least just see them every day, even if they hated him for liking them like that; even if they felt betrayed.

He had to stay conscious or he wouldn’t ever see them again. See Lance smile or Shiro laugh. Or even Pidge or Hunk messing around in the kitchen trying to turn goo into an edible cookie. He had to see them all again.

He felt Red land in the hangar and heard Coran’s gentle British “Up you go” as he was lifted out of the cockpit and into the MedBay.

He’d be okay. Coran had him. Keith let himself be gently urged into the healing pod, hanging onto his consciousness until he felt the sensors all connect and the doors shut. 

Keith would see them all again. And he’d be okay.

He was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! My tumblr is [@shiros-boyfriends-are-pretty](https://shiros-boyfriends-are-pretty.tumblr.com/) and twitter is [@im_trash_how_ru](https://twitter.com/im_trash_how_ru/)  
> Love y'all, stay safe <3


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